Quitting this blog and building an online store turned out to be a good decision. I launched it the day before yesterday and sold three pieces right away, enough to pay for the store and pay for a month of photoshop and illustrator. I started a bunch of mini-campaigns on gofundme as well. I have one artist that will be joining me on the site, hopefully today.
www.gofundme.com/art4survivalstore
www.gofundme.com/art4survivalgas
www.gofundme.com/art4survivalmarketing
Thank you to all who read my blog and to Joe Pancake who donated $100. It gave me hope to write it every day, but now I have to face the fact that people don’t believe in this idea. I’m not giving up, I just need to figure out a different way to make it happen.
Be kind to people. Take care,
https://art4survival.science.blog/download-files/
Please print and distribute if you are able. Thank you and have a good day
Up until today I had written all my entries in the morning. Its 11:40 pm now and I’m about to go to sleep. The reason I’m writing so late today is that I was so angry all day I needed to settle down and think things over before taking a negative tone on this blog that I have made an effort to keep positive. I’ve thought it over and decided that I’m not interested in crafting a message or setting a tone on this blog, The truth is the truth and I’m just going to put it up here, for better of for worse.
I explained on an earlier entry that when I first became houseless I was angry. This is an understatement. I had no heat in my car, I was out of gas. I hardly talked to a single person in February. It was in the mid 20’s at night and I had the flu. I had convulsions and couldn’t sleep because it was cold and I was running a fever. I ran out of food and went several days without eating. I passed out a couple times. It was the first time I felt people hated me for no reason at all. Before I ran out of food I ate cans of beans that were literally frozen.
I have always tried to improve the world in some way. I always hoped I’d leave this place better than it was when I came in. I am compassionate and treat people with respect, even racist, sexist people. You can’t change people with hate.
On my way to the Library this morning I parked my car a block away and a guy came out of his house shaking his head at me and giving me the look I’m familiar with now, the vile hateful one. How can someone have a nice house, a nice car and a nice family and at the same lack any compassion whatsoever? Is it really that tough to have to look at my car for an hour? I lost my apartment and spent my entire savings on trying to start a business because I applied for all the jobs I could and nobody would hire me. All the materials I invested in are on top of my car. What other option do I have? I honestly don’t know what else to do. I can’t throw away everything I just invested in and give up on my dream.
I have been treated badly by my previous employer, my coworkers, my family and by the woman I loved. I don’t mean kind of badly, I mean the kind of bad that has had me contemplating suicide for the past four years. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, it takes more courage than I have. I ask myself why someone who has always tried to improve the world would be used and then cast out of society. I don’t have an answer.
So what I’m getting at here is that today I started to teeter. I walked away from the fight, which is not like me. I’m out of energy. I walk 8 to 13 miles a day and make about a dollar a mile most days. It takes hours to return cans most of the time. I’m trying to make marketing materials when I can. I am working about as hard as I did at the shipyard and I’m exhausted. I’ve tried to contact about 20 businesses and many local artists and only one business has responded saying I need to have non-profit status before they can grant me a free subscription to their product, a $40 value. No artist has ever responded to me. My ‘views per day’ on this blog have dropped back down to less than five and I have had no feedback, aside from the feedback from two close friends. The disapproval I got from the angry homeowner today nearly pushed me over the edge, but instead I just teetered all day.
I’m not making a threat when I say this, but how do these people not realize that when they walk out of their house to harass me I know know where they live. I literally have nothing to lose and for years I have prayed for death, but instead I struggle every day and endure pain. Don’t they realize they are putting their lives and property in extreme danger? I don’t feel they deserve the things they have if they are willing to kick people who are down and struggling to survive, and I’m just the guy who could snap and take it all away from them.
So that’s the truth. I have been a kind and loving person my entire life and suddenly I have days where I feel like I want to burn it all down. Maybe tomorrow I will be back to being positive. I work on it, but it’s not easy.
I will try and start the online store tomorrow. I’m going to a different library with a parking lot, so I don’t have to park by a bunch of assholes.
Thank you for reading and have a nice night.
My gofundme campaign raised $100 this week which enabled me to make a reservation on a small storage unit where I will store my tools and art supplies. I will use $30 of that money to start my Shopify store where I will invite houseless artists to sell their goods and $10 to purchase the domain name art4survival.com. I have built a Shopify store before and it was easy for me. What I’m struggling with is how to guarantee that when the artwork is purchased, it gets shipped in a timely manner. I could require the artists I list to let me hold any goods they put up for sale and I would be able to ship it as soon as it sells. The downside to this idea is that it would not make it possible for the artists to try and sell their goods on the street at the same time it is listed on the online store, which may be problematic for some people. An alternative would be to pick up the art that sells and ship it, but often times I’m out of gas and need to make money, so driving all over town picking up artwork form people would be very difficult. Not to mention many people are without phone service, so arranging to meet someone is a real challenge. Until I get a better idea, I’m going to have to collect the art at the time it is listed. If someone out there has an idea on how I could manage this, please post it up.
Thank you for reading and have a good day.
I’m not treating people any differently than usual so I’m not sure why I have experienced an outpouring of kindness in the past two days. My friend Gregory bought me a brand new camp stove I used to make breakfast this morning. After eating cold food day after day, it really is a big deal to me. A lady found a dime and a penny in front of Cleveland High School and I, jokingly, said “I saw those first.” She said they were a gift from her recently departed father, who she had asked for them. I told her I was only joking but she talked to me a while, gave me a dollar, a hug and good wishes. A man who had been houseless in Sacramento came here to get away from bad influences and is doing well. He told me some survival tips and and said any time I’m hungry come by his place. A woman at a shop on Hawthorne assured me my life would get better and that in the end if your life isn’t better, then you are not at the end. I cleaned up a big garbage mess at some apartments and a woman said she would look in to getting me a job where I would be able to help people. My Gofundme campaign received a $100 donation. Now I can make the online store where houseless people can sell their art and other goods.
There is one way I have changed and that is I no longer keep to myself. I yell across parking lots for people to come over and talk to me. I hand out all my business cards every day. I am outgoing, opposite of who I’ve been my whole life. Maybe since I’m reaching out instead of reacting to people, that is what is making this change. It is such a good feeling to go from fighting people with no compassion every day, to feeling loved by friends and strangers.
On another note, I spent an hour cleaning up the alley where I took the picture for one of my posters. I left a note, hoping to get people to read my blog. I’m already spread thin, but I want to try and spend and hour each morning doing this.
Thank you for reading and have a good day.
I added a page today: https://art4survival.science.blog/download-files/ I need help because I can only afford to print four flyers a day and people rip them down. Please download the posters and make some color prints. Hang them anywhere you see fit.
About activism – I know, from my experience, that outside the box thinking and outrageous ideas will almost certainly elicit the same response from most people. For some reason if you run a crazy idea by someone, they will quickly shoot it down. I don’t know why this is. Are they trying to be helpful and save me from wasting my time? Maybe people don’t realize that big changes in the world don’t always come from geniuses or people with status. Big changes can come from anyone, even me.
My first skateboard I got from my aunt in the 70’s. She used to skate down the hills at Mt. Tabor when she was young, I have no idea what year that might have been. Around 1980 I got a modern skateboard handed down from a friend, and since then it was what I decided to do with my life. The trouble was that there were no skateparks in Oregon, so we drove to Canada often, and skated there, when they would let us in the country. I began attending city meetings to try and get a park built, but every location was opposed strongly by the community. I saw professionally drawn plans, and there was a budget set aside, but nobody could figure out how to make it happen. In 1990 I had the idea to just get some concrete and start building one myself. The first few people I ran the idea by tried to talk me out of it, saying it would just be torn down. I was able to find a couple friends who got on board and we built the first feature under the Burnside bridge. This was a life lesson to me.
My activism now feels so much the same. People don’t believe in me or my ideas, why would they? Who am I but a common person who is not special, why should people listen to me? I’m a problem solver and I have vision. I have skills to pass on to people who want to learn, and I can build a Shopify store in a week. I have a network of houseless people across the city with access to unlimited discarded materials. I have screen printing equipment, a lot of letterpress type, a lot of walnut and other hard woods, paint, glue, woodworking tools etc… I’m willing to donate it all, but I can’t do it without a place. Please consider donating something. If six people donated $5 each I could at least get the online store built, which would be huge. http://www.gofundme.com/art4survival
Thank you to all the people in Portland that beautify the city with your houses and gardens. I’ve had an appreciation for these old homes my entire life and am moved by them.
So what is a work ethic? For me it has always meant having pride in myself that comes from doing great work. Some definitions differ, I’m sure. For the past 15 years I was in manufacturing. When I fabricated yacht parts out of 316 stainless and then polished them to a finish that was indistinguishable from chrome. I could quickly shape edges to have a large radius that was so perfect you would think a machine did it. Looking at an order of 20 large parts, finished and ready to ship, I remember being aware for the first time that I was making exceptionally beautiful objects and felt a lot of pride from it. Polishing stainless is very labor intensive and the amount of work that went into manufacturing these was incredible. I was TIG welding full time at that job and I got good at making welds that were beautiful. If you know the TIG welding process you know what I’m talking about.
I’m looking for houseless people that have pride in their work, or who might be able to learn to. I spent four years studying art and design at Portland State University and want to pass on my knowledge to those who want it. I want to work with people who have no art background and get them to try. I am also open to making goods that might not fall into the ‘fine art’ category, but they would need to be aesthetically pleasing. There is an abundance of waste in this city to use. I think I can pull this off without buying any materials, I do need a space though.
Interested in hearing comments, so please feel free. What does ‘work ethic’ mean to you?
Thank you for reading and have a good day.
In the not so distant past I was looking at what it would take to repeal the Oregon Bottle Bill. I told my roommate what I was up to and he said “please not while we are living together, people will come here and kick MY ass.” I was actually thinking about trying, even though it would be unlikely to succeed. I was living paycheck to paycheck and when I tried to return my cans for money I needed, there would be huge lines of houseless people at the machines and the machines were always broken or just full. The stores don’t empty the machines promptly. So I would give it an hour then hand them to a houseless person, even though I needed the money for food. I resented the fact that stores charged me 10 cents a can and took it from my bank account in microseconds, but when I tried to get my deposit back I couldn’t. Instead of trying to repeal the Bottle Bill I decided to quit buying products in cans and bottles, completely. This meant giving up my sparkling water, not too big a sacrifice.
I had the same attitude about houseless people then, that is held toward me now. I saw so much garbage everywhere, everything I have ever owned has been stolen from me and one who lived in the bushes outside had a mental illness that caused him to shout angerly all night long, making me tired at work all the time. I was certain that most of them were collecting cans and bottles to support a substance abuse problem, so I saw the Bottle Bill as something that enabled addicts.
Now I’m houseless myself. Instead of littering I go around and pick up messes from crows pulling garbage out of cans and I got this idea because I saw other houseless people doing it. There are many genuinely good people out here making a living off collecting bottles and cans, I’m one of them. To me it’s a last resort, there is literally no other reliable way for me to afford gas and printing materials to try and get people to see what I’m trying to accomplish. I have mixed feelings about the Bottle Bill still. The factor that keeps me in favor is the fact that Oregon recycles 90% of its containers, which compared to the nation is a high percentage.
So I’ve been asking myself, how can I make waste valuable enough so that bottles and cans could become a less desirable resource for houseless people? My immediate goal is to invent products that are made of the most abundant usable waste in Portland. Cardboard tops the list, followed by paper sacks and then wine bottles. Those are the three big ones. You have to understand that if these things suddenly had value, there is already a network of houseless people to retrieve them. Ask any person who collects bottles and cans where a house is with a ton of cardboard waste every week, and I bet they could tell you three off the top of their head. Add to this, we know the pickup schedules of all the neighborhoods.
Is it unethical to plan a business that runs off people collecting waste from recycling bins? I’m sure some people would say yes. I’m doing it. If I can turn people’s lives around, it outweighs any minor inconvenience homeowners might experience. I would love to hear comments on this, it’s interesting to me.
Thank you for reading, and I need ideas on how to drive people to this blog, so give them up if you have them.
There are several of these Dino Yards around Portland. This particular one featured about 100 dinos all over their landscaping. What is the story behind these? They are a thing.
I got to talking to this man and found he had similar ideas about using cardboard and is supportive about the idea of making a work space for houseless people. Then he pulled a bunch of great drawings out of his bag. I hope I can get an online store set up for this guy some time soon. I have made a Shopify store before and it isn’t difficult. I feel lucky to have met him.
I used my bottle and can money to print some business cards but the type turned out too small. I am going to try and print some new ones today and print some flyers as well.
Thanks for reading and have a good day.
Art4survival 